Choad Wars
by JohnnyLurg
Summary: This is like, a parody of Star Wars, or something.


"These Choad Wars sure are cool!" Beavis responded to Butt-head over his ship's com-link. "We get to, like, fly around and blow stuff up everyday!"

"Yeah," Butt-head laughed. "Then we get to, like, chop up a bunch of stupid buttholes with our lightsabers!" Overhead, the skies of Coruscant had been darkened. Just hours ago, the Confederacy of Independent Systems had made a surprise attack on the capital of the Galactic Republic itself. As a result of the attack, Supreme Chancellor McVicker had been kidnapped by the combined forces of Count Bill Clinton and a new deadly threat, known in many circles across the galaxy as General Buzzcut, a deadly cyborg leader hell-bent on destroying the Republic.

Finally, the two starfighters belonging to Beavis and Butt-head landed inside the hanger of the Separatist mother ship. The two Jedi leaped out and began slicing apart druids left and right. After they were through, the duo entered into a nearby elevator to head into the main chambers where they believed Chancellor McVicker was being held captive.

"Huh huh huh!" Butt-head laughed. "We're gonna save McDicker from certain doom."

"Yeah, I bet he'll be so grateful, he'll get a stiffy just seeing us!" Beavis exclaimed.

"Then you'll get a stiffy from seeing him too!" Butt-head replied.

"No way, fartknocker!" Beavis yelled. "I'm not into that crap! I've got Daria to go back to!"

"Yeah, right" Butt-head snorted. "She's just there to, like, disguise the fact that you're into guys."

"Shut up, Butt-head!" ordered Beavis. "At least I've scored with a chick!"

"Daria doesn't count!" Butt-head grunted. "She's, like, flat or something."

"No way! She has nice thingies! I would know!"

"I'll believe it when I see it, Beavis."

"You're not gonna see her thingies, damn it! Only I'm allowed to!"

After the elevator ride was over, Beavis and Butt-head stepped out into the main chambers to be greeted with the sight of a captive McVicker and an eagerly awaiting Bill Clinton.

"Hello, Beavis and Butt-head," Clinton greeted. "How's life been treating you?" "Uh, we're, like, here for McVicker or something," Butt-head responded.

"Why rescue a corrupt politician," Clinton offered. "When you can join me and get a full scholarship to pay for college?"

"Um, what's a scholarship?" Beavis asked his former master.

"Uh, I think it's, like, this thing where you have to do homework or something," answered Butt-head. "Whatever it is, it probably sucks!"

"Yeah!" Beavis agreed. "Let's kick this dude's ass!"

Bill Clinton ignited his Sith lightsaber and beckoned for the Jedi duo to attack. Beavis was the first to enter into the fray, swinging like crazy. Butt-head soon followed up and slashed at the Machiavellian count. After a brief bout, Clinton sensed something was wrong. Whatever it was, it appeared these two had improved their lightsaber fighting skills. He had to act fast or there would be no telling how big of a threat they'd pose. Clinton flipped over and struck Butt-head across the chin with a spinning side-kick. The Jedi master was thrown over against the wall and knocked unconscious. Now, all Clinton had to deal with was Beavis.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Beavis warned. "Butt-head may be a bunghole! But he still taught me everything I know, damn it!"

"That's right, son!" the captured McVicker called out. "Get 'im! One! Two! Right in the sucker!"

"Shut up, McDicker!" Beavis yelled. "I'm trying to kick this Clinton dude's ass here!" Clinton thrust his saber towards Beavis's chest while the blonde Jedi averted it swiftly and decapitated the former US President swiftly.

"I knew you'd do it, my boy!" McVicker congratulated. "Now let's get out of here!" Beavis sliced off McVicker's shackles and picked up Butt-head's body. Just as they were about to head out the door, several dozen Magna-Guards surrounded them from all sides.

"Uh, did I miss anything?" Butt-head rubbed his eyes.

"Well, if it isn't Beavis and Butt-head," the cyborg general flexed his claws. "I hear you two are responsible for the heavy losses on the side of the Confederacy!"

"You won't get away with this, General Buzzcut!" McVicker accused. "We'll have you hung out to dry for your war crimes!"

General Buzzcut still looked relatively human despite the cybernetic implants grafted onto him. His body was as chiseled as ever and the metal on his body only helped to implement his ferocity. He glared down at Beavis and Butt-head with disgust in his robotic eyes. "My forces are sustaining heavy losses," Buzzcut looked out into the space battle raging on. "But I plan to change all that, by snuffing the pathetic lives of you losers!"

"Uh, just try us, Buzzcut!" Butt-head dared.

"Yeah!" Beavis echoed. "We'll kick your ass!"

"Magna-Guards!" Buzzcut ordered. "Waste these pathetic sacks of atrophy!"


End file.
